THE FREE WORD MINISTRY

Freely ye have received, freely give! (Matthew 10:8)

Marriage and Divorce

By Prophetess Roberts

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him.

So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s rib and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.  “At last!” the man exclaimed.  “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man. ’” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.

Genesis 2:18-25 (New Living Translation)

Marriage (Covenant) - An agreement that is made between two individuals before God. God made a covenant with Abraham and his descendants the Hebrew people.  The Israelites were God’s chosen people because of the covenant that He made with Abraham. He became married to the children of Israel by Abraham. He was their God and they were chosen to be His people.

And Abram was ninety years old and nine, the Lord appeared to Abram, and said unto him, I am the Almighty God; walk before me perfect. And I will make my covenant between me and thee, and will multiply thee exceedingly. And Abram fell on his face: and God talked with him, saying, As for me, behold, my covenant is with thee, and thou shalt be a father of many nations. Neither shall thy name any more be called Abram, but thy name shall be Abraham; for a father of many nations have I made thee. And I will establish my covenant between me and thee in their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be a God unto thee, and to thy seed after thee.  And I will give unto thee, the land wherein thou art a stranger, all the land of Canaan, for an everlasting possession; and I will be their God.

Genesis (17:1-8)

Divorce - a broken Covenant between two people. God was fed up with the children of Israel and divorced them. And I saw, when for all the cause whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.

Jeremiah (3:8)

Thus said the Lord, where is the bill of your mother’s divorcement, whom I put away? Or which of my creditors is it to whom I have sold you? Behold, for your iniquities have ye sold yourselves, and for your transgressions is your mother put away.

Isaiah (50:1)

 Remarriage - Sometimes you must let go of the old for something better to come. All re-marriage means is to pick up the pieces from a failed agreement that did not work between two people, now you are ready to try again. God got rid of the old covenant that He made with Abraham because it was not working and, brought in something new. On this note I rest my case!

But now hath he obtained a more excellent ministry, by how much also he is the mediator of a better covenant, which was established upon better promises. For if that first covenant had been faultless, then should no place have been sought for the second.

Hebrews (8:6-7)

Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God.

Romans (7:4)

God married, He divorced and remarried. So, why can’t we? Never-the-less, I will elaborate on this subject a little farther. I was asked a question that caused me to..... Shiver. The question was “Should Pastors allow their members to remarry after a divorce?"

My answer was First, God never called Pastors to control or dominate their member’s lives. We are to dominate not to be dominated. We are to control not to be controlled. We are to be fruitful, multiply, replenish and subdue the earth not other men or women.

And God said, let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowls of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

Genesis (1:26- 28)

Pastors have gotten besides themselves and forgotten who the real Head of the Body of Christ is and it surely is not them! In other words they are in God's business and need get out! They have over looked the Head and have placed themselves in the place of God who is the Head of His Church and, I am the one to tell them.

The office of a Pastor is to lead and guide not to be the boss over God’s People. We do not serve a dead God! Jesus is still our Master Pastor! And do not get it twisted! There is a big difference between your Pastors and the living God. This is God's universe not your Pastors! God calls the shots not your Pastors!  God gave men wisdom and intelligence to think for themselves not to have other people think for us. Christians have given Pastors too much power and control over their personal business to the point that they do not know how to make rational decisions on their own.

This behavior is called bondage and control when a man tells another man who to marry, what to put on, where to go, how much money to give and so on. Most Pastors today have a slave master mentality; they feel the need to control their members’ lives. Grown folks should not need someone to keep telling them the same things over and over and year after year unless they suffer with a form of retardation.

The word of God says, where the Spirit of God is present there is freedom. Freedom to make your own decisions and freedom to think for yourselves. You do not need a man or woman to tell you if you could get married, divorce or remarried and, if you do need someone to tell you, you can or cannot get married, you do not need to get married in the first place because you are not mature enough to make rational decisions on your own.

Mature Christians know how to be led by the Holy Spirit and know how to make realistic decisions on their own without someone holding their hands and telling them what to do or what not to do. Church! Keep your Pastors OUT of your marriages and your personal business!

Personally, I feel all these couples who just got divorced need to sit down for a season and seek individual counseling. I think it is pathetic and immature to play the blame game. Trying to make each other look bad. I was told it takes Two to make a bad marriage.  Also, marriages do not go sour over night. Therefore, this tells me while they where preaching to others, when they got home, it was hell in their houses.

Pastors are to instruct you in the word of God not to control your lives! When a Pastor tells his or her members what to do, what to wear, how much money to give, who to marry and so on, what he or she is doing is imposing their own opinions, bias and beliefs on their members and this is not the will of God for His church, it is a control issue a form of brainwashing.

For some strange reasons I have found that Christians would seek wisdom and counsel from man (Their spiritual leaders) before they would seek an answer from God. This is why the Body of Christ is in a mess today because you have more believers listening to their Pastors voices and not listening to the voice of God.

Your Pastors are not God! God is our Creator; man is God’s creation. Your Pastors did not create you God did! Therefore your Pastors does not know what is best for you. They can advise you but afterwards they should tell you to seek the face of God for guidance. Your final answer should come from within.

Marriage is personal and private between two individuals who have chosen to live their lives together.  Marriage is sacred, consecrated and ordained by God. Pastors should not interfere in this Holy ceremony between these two individuals unless they have both invited him or her inside their union. I mean both individuals not just one; don’t get it twisted, because there are always two sides to every story.

And He answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, for this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.

Matthew (19:4-6)

When two people come together as husband and wife they are no longer two individuals but one in the Lord. The word never told man to leave his Mother and Father and cleave to his Wife and Pastor in marriage. Two is company and three is a crowd. The bible teaches us to cleave to our own husband and our own wife. God has given each person free will to make their own decisions in life. We were given the right to make choices regardless if the choices we make are good for us or not. This is why salvation came to us all so we could be pardon for our many mistakes and sins.

The reason I am saying this is because, there are Pastors who control their member’s lives even in the privacy of their own bedrooms. There are Pastors who have broken up homes because they have found out that a member was married once. The Pastor then told the member to leave their second wife or husband and go back to the first one.  Many Pastors have destroyed marriages through ignorance.

If a church has a Pastor that does not allow his or her members the freedom to remarry after a divorce or allow those who have been divorced to remarry you will have a church filled with sinners burning with uncontrollable desire.

But if they have not self-control (restraint of their passion), they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame [with passion and tortured continually with ungratified desire].

1 Corinthians (7:9) Amplified Bible

Once a person experiences sex with another person their body will automatically crave for this act again. This is why the Apostle Paul said that it is better that a man not touch a woman but, if he or she cannot control their sexual desires to avoid fornication they should get married.

Now concerning the things wherefore ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let ever man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

1 Corinthians (7:2)

Sex is a normal craving of the body that is usually satisfied by the opposite sex. This is why Paul told married couples not to deprive each other form sexual contact unless it is through mutual consent for a period of time only.

Do not refuse and deprive and defraud each other [of your due marital rights], except perhaps by mutual consent for a time, so that you may devote yourselves unhindered to prayer. But afterwards resume marital relations, lest Satan tempt you [to sin] through your lack of restraint of sexual desire.

1 Corinthians (7:5) Amplified Bible

Paul is fully aware that people who are not married will be tempted to sin and if a married couple stays away from each other too long they will also be tempted to sin. Why? Because the human body craves intimacy (sex) this is a normal function of the body. This is why marriage is honorable and the bed undefiled.

Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: But whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Hebrews (13:4)

The Apostle Paul says flee fornication. In other words run from this sexual sin. If you are single and having sex you are a sinner. And if are married and having sex with someone that is not your spouse you are a bigger sinner because you have broken your covenant with your wife or husband and with God.

Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

1Corinthians (6:18)

How do you avoid fornication? By having your “own” husband or wife.

Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

1 Corinthians (7:2)

Sex and intimacy between a husband and wife is so sacred that the husband’s body is not his own in a marriage neither is the wife’s body her own in a marriage. Married couples should not withhold sexual intimacy from each other. Neither should they be sleeping around with other partners.

For the wife does not have [exclusive] authority and control over her own body, but the husband [has his rights]; likewise also the husband does not have [exclusive] authority and control over his body, but the wife [has her rights]. Do not refuse and deprive and defraud each other [of your due marital rights], except perhaps by mutual consent for a time, so that you may devote yourselves unhindered to prayer.

1 Corinthians (7:4-5) Amplified Bible

Paul goes on to say that a wife or husband should not separate, but if they do let them remain unmarried or reconciled.

And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart  from her husband: But and if she departs, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

1 Corinthians 7:10-11)

Paul said this because marriage vows should be taken seriously by both parties before they commit to each other before God.

When thou shalt vow a vow unto the Lord thy God, thou shalt not slack to pay it: for the Lord thy God will surely require it of thee; and it would be sin in thee. But if thou shalt forbear to vow, it shall be no sin in thee. That which is gone out of thy lips thou shalt keep and perform; even a freewill offering, according as thou hast vowed unto the Lord thy God, which thou hast promised with thy mouth.

Deuteronomy (23: 21-23)

God takes our vows seriously and so should we nevertheless, not all vows are kept and couples do separate or divorce. Separation sometimes is good for a marriage it gives couples a chance to see things clearly, but while separation is taking place couples should be trying to fix their marriage and not involved in other relationships outside their marriage.

Paul says when you separate it should be with fasting and prayer. Then you should come back together before one of you is tempted to sin. But in most cases today individuals have sex with other partners as soon as they separate or before. Once this happens the marriage is tainted and not as sacred as it once was.

Even though some marriages have survived infidelity the marriage is not the same. In most situations it is very difficult for the wounded person to forgive and forget. No matter how much the wounded person may try to forgive and suppress the hurt and pain it comes back to their mind over and over again. Some people who have been wounded in this area the pain is so severe that they cannot forgive that individual who has transgressed against them and the marriage is ruined.

In most cases the whole family suffers. The party who committed the unfaithful act will walk around feeling guilty, and the other party might not say much but deep inside he or she is unhappy and frustrated. Once the marriage vows have been broken the level of trust between the couple will decrease. In most cases the wounded partner may feel if their spouse did it once they might do it again. Insecurity and fear sets in then fatigue and distrust. In many cases after infidelity has taken place and the marriage ends the ending of that marriage is usually bitter.

I have to stop here for a second; this word is to the unfaithful spouses and their lovers. Let me make this clearly understood because I have found that many believers are retarded in this area and I am the one to make this clear to them ok! For those individuals who come between a husband and wife not ONLY did you break the couples covenant  they made with each other but you with your selfish self also broke the covenant  they had with Christ.

Once a person makes a marriage vow, that vow is between three individuals not just two. What I am saying is when you interfere with a married couple’s marriage you are messing with God. The word of God says, those that God joins together let no man come between. 

This is why the bible says, have your own husband and your own wife. The holy scriptures teach us not to covet our neighbor’s wife or husband in other words find your own! You have individuals who deliberately destroy marriages and relationships so they can selfishly have that person’s husband or wife.

In most cases it will not work. What goes around comes around. Even if you successfully break up these individuals your relationship with that person will be troubled.

When King David coveted Uriah’s wife (Bathsheba) and went into her, she became pregnant. King David had Uriah (Bathsheba’s husband) killed. Even though this act was done in secret God saw it and was not pleased. Because of King David’s sin God took his first-born child with Bathsheba.

People can be so blind to think after they have destroyed relationships and marriages that God is going to ignore what they have done, and bless their marriage or relationship with that person they stole from that other person. I have some advice for you Grow Up! Now you have to deal with that third person you over looked which is GOD.

When you come between a husband and a wife you have messed with the wrong people. My advice is, if you are involved at this time with someone who is legally married R.U.N!

When Abram entered Egypt with his beautiful wife Sarah, Pharaoh's servants saw how good looking she was and they took Sarah to  Pharaoh's  house. But the Lord plagued Pharaoh's house so badly that Pharaoh called Abram and told him to come get his wife. After the Lord had troubled Pharaoh's house he wanted nothing to do with Abram or his wife Sarah. This is how serious God is about those who covet another person's wife or husband. 

Don’t get sex and love twisted. Sex is temporary it only last for minutes but love is forever. In most cases when a married individual get involved with someone outside their marriage it is usually for the sex and not for love. This is the problem with people today including those who call themselves Christians; they want the sex but do not want what comes with the word marriage. I have found that most Christians marry for the sex. How can two Spirit filled Christians not make it?

I have found that most Christians love to play the blame game. They either blame Satan, their mates or God. Please grow up! It is not Satan, your mate nor is it the Holy Spirit it is you!

How can anyone deliberately destroy someone’s relationship or marriage and expect God to bless them with that person they covet in other words stole? Please!!

It says a lot about that person’s character that would go outside their marriage (union) to get involved with someone else. First it shows that you have no respect for that person who you are involved with. Second it shows how selfish, weak and immature you are when it comes to relationships. Third, it shows that you have no respect or fear for God who is watching you, and you have no respect for those in your household.  And you expect your daughters and sons to respect you? Like mother like daughter, like father like son. 

You call it love for that person whom you have been unfaithful with; but it is not love it is selfishness and the lust of the spirit. In most cases promiscuous individuals knows where to find other people like themselves. Every man knows who the loose women are in their churches, on their jobs and in their neighborhoods.

When a woman wants to be unfaithful she knows who to go to. She knows the players in her church home, on her job and in her neighborhood. Some calls it chemistry or an attraction for that other person but the devil is a liar! It is neither chemistry nor an attraction it is call the lust of the spirit and this spirit is a negative spirit that comes from a negative force, just plain evil. 

What examples are you setting for those around you? You call yourselves Christians and do not care who you hurt or who lives you destroy, but as soon as something happens to you, you want to cry out to this same God who you have been overlooking, Please!! You will suffer the consequences for your actions meaning you will reap what you have sowed to others this I guarantee!

Infidelity is unacceptable! And for that person who gets involved with a married person. First you have no respect for that person's mate. You have no respect for yourself or God. If she or he is weak in that area to have sex with you and they have a mate when you are involved with them they will have sex with someone else don’t get it twisted.

If they have no respect for the person they are already involved with they will have lesser respect for you. What makes you so grand that, that person who is a cheat will not cheat on you? What makes you so special? Please!!

Respectful God fearing individuals will not get involved with a married person. And a decent God fearing married individual would wait until they have legally divorced before they get involved with someone else. And not only this, after a person have divorce they should give themselves enough time to mourn that lost and leave room for a possible reconciliation.

When a person start having sex with someone outside their marriage their mind becomes deluded. They become so mixed up emotionally they do not know if they are coming or going. And most times they have that other individual’s mind they are cheating with so screwed up they do not know if they are going or coming. Now you have two confused individuals trying to make rational decisions about the future. 

I have a question; this question is for the unfaithful wife or husband. Is he or she worth it? This question is also for those who get involved with these married individuals. How can you look your mates in the eyes? How can you walk around like you are not doing anything wrong? Where are your consciences? And on top of this many unfaithful individuals meet their lovers at church.

And God forbid children are involved. If you deliberately take someone’s spouse and marry them what happens when the father or mother have to come see their children. You will always feel guilty; you will not be able to look that person in the eye. Not only this you will always think in the back of your mind that it is possible that they (the children's or child's parent) might get back together. Not only this, sooner or later the children will start to resent you for breaking up their parents. Now the script has flipped. Now you think the ex-wife or ex-husband is cheating on you like you cheated with them. What a mess!  

This really bothers me because we are talking about Sunday morning Christians who do not have a heart of flesh or a conscience when it comes to destroying people lives. How can a so called to be Christians hurt innocent people who most of the times have done nothing to them. Once you have broken up these individuals’ relationships or marriages you have caused their mates to be angry, hurt, wounded and frustrated. You have cause pain to these individuals who have done nothing wrong to you. This is evil, inconsiderate and plain out selfishness on both your parts.   

I am speaking to the unfaithful individuals and their lovers. These people who you are hurting have feelings and emotions just like you would if the shoes were on the other feet. There is a lot of damage that takes place once infidelity has taken place in a home.  Most times these people who cause pain and suffering on other individuals has no regrets or remorse for what they are doing or for what they have done. Many of them see it as a game. They go from one situation into another situation until God's right hand steps in and say no more!

 Let me say this for the record, these individuals who are causing other people hurt, pain and grief with no remorse or regret you have a sickness and you need deliverance. Deep inside you are miserable and hate people even yourself. People who love God and other people do not do these things. True Christians does not go around hurting and destroying relationships. I am talking about true Christians not the fake and phony ones. These negative behaviors are not normal and they come from a negative force from within.

Also it shows that you are mentality and emotionally unstable and suffers with the spirit of belonging. Also it shows that you suffer with low self-esteem because a person with confident in themselves and God does  not  go after someone's mate. First they do not want the drama. Second they are willing to wait for God's best.

Also in most cases  the married individual will stay with their mates and try to work it out once infidelity has taken place. And if it doesn't work out most times they will start to resent that person who they got involved with. Let me say this, if a married person was not divorced when they met you in most cases they will not divorce once they have used you don't get it twisted.

Never-the- less thank God for wisdom, peace of mind and maturity Amen. Now to get back to the subject should Christians marry? Could they divorce and could they remarry.

JESUS our Lord and Savior says when a wife or husband has sex with another person that is not his or her spouse; they have not committed sin by divorcing that unfaithful person. In other words once a person has violated their marriage vows by having sex with another partner, the one who was violated has the legal rights to divorce that individual.

But I tell you, whoever dismisses and repudiates and divorces his wife, except on the grounds of unfaithfulness (sexual immorality), causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a woman who has been divorced commits adultery.

Matthew (5:31) Amplified Bible

Let us look at this statement very carefully, JESUS said, "If a person divorce his wife or husband on the grounds of “unfaithfulness” it is a legal divorce." But if a person divorces on any other grounds they have committed an immoral act against that person and cause that other person to sin as well.

Now let us look into this a little farther, if one party is sinning by remarrying (committing adultery) in other words having sexual relations with another person, and now the other party is sinning sexually (committing adultery) it looks like grounds for a  legal divorce If you asked me. You have two people having sex with other partners. Jesus just said it. It is not a sin to divorce your spouse if he or she is having sex with someone else.

And he saith unto them, whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.

Mark (10: 11-12)

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Once your spouse has had sex with another person you do not have to take that person back. That person is considered defiled before God. You will never read where Jesus ever told anyone to go back to their husband or wife once they had been defiled. Jesus did not tell the woman at the Well to “Go back to her husband” neither did He tell the woman who was caught in adultery to go back to her husband.

They say, if a man put away his wife, and she go from him, and become another man’s, shall he return unto her again? Shall not that land be greatly polluted? But thou hast played the harlot with many lovers: yet return again to me, saith the Lord.

Jeremiah (3:1)

Her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the Lord: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the Lord thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.

Deuteronomy (24:4)

If you chose to take your husband or wife back after they have had sex with other partners it is your prerogative. If you chose not to take he or her back is also your prerogative. There are legal grounds for divorce. A good example is the woman who was caught in adultery. Her husband had legal grounds for a divorce according to Jesus. She was caught having sex with someone that was not her husband.

I have never read where Jesus said if a person divorces and remarry they would go hell. Neither have I read where Jesus said divorce and remarriage was not permitted in the churches. All remarriage means is to try marriage again.

We live by faith through grace, we are allowed to make mistakes and be forgiven for our sins. This is the whole purpose of Jesus dying on the cross so our mistakes could be pardoned. Jesus did not die on the cross for us to be stuck in our past experiences.

Jesus does not hold our past mistakes against us once we have repented. We are under the dispensation of grace not the law. According to the Mosaic Law women could not divorce their husbands, but the men could divorce their wives.

When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favor in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanliness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man’s wife.

Deuteronomy (24:1-2)

As you see in these scriptures marriage and divorce was permitted among the Israelites and it still permitted within the Body of Christ today. When Jesus came He brought mercy and grace with Him. Therefore, why would He come and place a believer in bondage by not allowing them to remarry after a divorce especially after allowing them to divorce and remarry in the Old Testament under the Mosaic Law?

Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth?  For a woman which hath a husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.

Romans (7:1-3)

As you see here the Apostle Paul spoke to those who knew the law, it was part of the law and custom that women be bonded to their husbands as long as they lived, but as we continue to read Paul tells us that we are dead to the law.

Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God. For when we were in the flesh, the motions of sins, which were by the law, did work in our members to bring forth fruit unto death. But now we are delivered from the law, that being dead wherein we were held; that we should serve in newness of spirit, and not in the oldness of spirit, and not in the oldness of the letter.

Romans (7:4-6)

We are no longer under the law, but the just live according to their own faith not by the faith of their spiritual leaders. We are married to Christ Jesus not the law. We are free from the law once Christ came with grace and mercy.

But that no man is justified by the law in the sight of God, it is evident: for, the just shall live by faith.

Galatians (3:11)

How many times did God divorce and remarried Israel? I stop counting. God got tired of Israel. Once the Israelites would sin against God (committee adultery with other gods) God would separate Himself from them, but once they repented for their sins God would take them back underneath His covering and protect them from their enemies. Why? Because God loved Israel He called them His first born.

Thus said the Lord, where is the bill of your mother’s divorcement, who I have put away? Or which my creditors to whom I have sold you? Behold, for your iniquities have ye sold yourselves, and for your transcriptions is your mother put away.

Isaiah (50:1)

God said Israel had lots of lovers. My point is that, there are grounds for divorce. If God can get fed up with being used abused and mistreated, what about us?

They say, If a man put away his wife, and she go from him, and become another man’s, shall he return unto her again? Shall not that land be greatly polluted? But thou hast played the harlot with many lovers; yet return again to me, saith the Lord.

Jeremiah (3:1)

And I saw, when for all the cause where by backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot.

Jeremiah (3:8)

God forgave Israel over and over again. But we do not have that kind of faith to forgive seventy times seventy. Jesus called us a faithless generation. We do not have the patience to put up with each other’s imperfections. Everyone has his or her tolerances even God. God got so fed up with Israel that He got an attitude. He told them “No more! Go tell those gods that you have committed adultery with to save you from now on.” God Himself caught an attitude. We all have our limits.

Yet ye have forsaken me, and served other Gods: wherefore I will deliver you no more. Go cry unto the gods which ye have chosen; let them deliver you in the time of your tribulation. And the children of Israel said unto the Lord, We have sinned: do thou unto us whatsoever seemeth good unto thee; deliver us only, we pray thee, this day. And they put away the strange gods from among them, and served the Lord: and his soul was grieved for the misery of Israel.

Judges (10:13-16)

Some will say “A person who does not divorce on the grounds of unfaithfulness is an adulterer.”  Jesus said every sin that is committed except for blasphemy against the Holy Spirit could be forgiven. Therefore adultery can be forgiven.

Verily I say unto you, All sins can be forgiven unto the sons of men, and blasphemies where with so ever that shall blaspheme: But he that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost hath never forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation.

Mark (3:28-29)

Jesus proved this by forgiving the woman who was caught in adultery. Jesus said let the one without sin cast the first stone. No one condemned her neither was there any stones cast. Jesus did not condemn her He told her to sin no more and he forgave her, and that was the end of that.

When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, woman, where are those accusers? Hath no man condemned thee? She said, no man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.

John (8: 10-11)

Once a person repents God does not acknowledge that sin any more. Did Jesus make a big deal at the Well with the woman who married five times? No he did not so why are Pastors making a big deal out of this situation?

“Well Jesus said from the beginning it was not so” You are right from the beginning it was not so, why was it not so from the beginning? Because when God made man and woman God’s plan was that man and woman live happily forever after. But once Eve ate the forbidding fruit God’s plan was unplanned.

It was not planned from the beginning for Cain to kill Abel but he did. Once man began to multiply on the face the earth sin also multiplied on the face of the earth. Immorality and sin got so badly out of control that God wiped out everything on the face of the earth except for Noah, his family and those animals on the Ark. God was so disgusted with man that He repented for even making them.

And it repented the Lord that he had made man on earth, and it grieved him at his heart. And the Lord said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them.

Genesis (6:6-7)

Divorce, fornication and adultery none of these sins would be taking place today if Eve would have obeyed the Lord from the beginning. Another point is Adam and Eve had no one around to sin with. There was no one around except the two of them some trees and animals. Adam and Eve were not aware of their own body parts; they did not have sexual desires for each other until Eve ate the fruit.

And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.

Genesis (3:7)

Things were going good in the garden just as God had planned from the beginning. Eve ate the fruit, sex came into the picture, babies came and so did trouble.

Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

Genesis (3:16)

God Himself would not have divorced Israel so many times if Eve wouldn't have eaten the forbidden fruit. But she did eat the fruit and we are here today so is divorce.

Now, we have another question. Once a person divorces can they remarry? Sure they can! If a person does not have the gift of celibacy and do not want to sin, I highly recommend marriage even after a divorce.

I would prefer to see a person like the woman at the Well who married five times than to see a person sin and end up in a lake of fire because they cannot restrain their sexual desires. Anyone who does not have the gift of self-control and desires to get married even after a divorce has my blessings. Celibacy is a gift and not everyone have this gift.

The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.” Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept this.

Matthew (19:10-12)

This statement coming from Jesus seems elementary to me. Not everyone has the same amount of faith to stay married; neither do all divorced persons have enough faith to restrain their sexual desires.

But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all the churches.

1 Corinthians (7:17)

These types of people that Jesus mentioned are gifted in the area of not wanting and desiring sex from the opposite sex. You have that person who was born abnormal who does not crave sex. You have those persons who were castrated my men for a particular position, and you have those persons like Priests who have given themselves to the work of the Lord.

There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things  of the lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

1 Corinthians (7: 34)

If you do not fit into any of those categories that Jesus or the apostle Paul spoke of and if you have normal sexual desires you had better pray and ask the Lord to send you a husband or wife.

Art thou bond unto a wife? Seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? Seek not a wife. But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.

1Corinthians (7:27-28)

You have not sinned if you are divorced and have remarried. For the bible says, it is better to marry then to burn with sexual desires. Paul says, he would prefer us to be like him single but if you cannot restrain yourself sexually it is ok to marry.

For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say, therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

1 Corinthians (7: 7-9)

There are Pastors who are causing their members to sin because of their lack of understanding in this area. And you have many church goers who are too dependent on their Spiritual Leaders. The word of God says to obey those who have rule over you, but not when it comes to something that might cause you from entering into the kingdom of God.

Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envying, murder, drunkenness, revel lings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in times past, that they which do such things shall not inherited the kingdom of God.

Galatians (5:19-21)

I will say this again; church goers are too dependent on their Spiritual Leaders. Most of them do not think for themselves. Many will listen to what their Pastors are saying and look past what Jesus is saying to them in the scriptures. Many Christians see their Pastors as some type of god that has all the right answers.

This is why you had Jim Jones and the others who lead their whole congregations into destruction, because a lot of churchgoers do not think for themselves. “Well, the church will reject me if I remarry.” So, you would rather go to hell or burn with desire? Jesus says "If your right eye offends you cut it off." In other words get rid of anything that will cause you to not make it into the kingdom of God.

And if thy right eyes offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offends thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

Matthew (5:29-30)

The just live by their own faith, not by the faith of their Pastors. I do not quite understand why grown folks over twenty-one have to ask permission to marry, divorce or remarry in the first place. I would rather receive an answer from God, than from an unperfected individual who may be having his or her own marriage problems. I am over twenty-one and I am grown and I know how to get in touch with Jesus for myself.

You have Pastors today who are stuck in this same area who wish their spouses would die so they can remarry. Do you really think God wants his children stuck in bad marriages and burning with desires? The last I heard God will always make a way to escape for us to be happy.

For no temptation (no trail regarded as enticing to sin), [no matter how it comes or where it leads] has overtaken you and laid hold on you that is not common to man [that is, no temptation or trial has come to you that is beyond human resistance and that is not adjusted and adapted and belonging to human experience, and such as man can bear]. But God is faithful [to His word and to his compassionate nature], and He [can be trusted] not to let you be tempted and tried and assayed beyond your ability and strength of resistance band power to endure, but with the temptation He will [always] also provide the way out (the means of escape to a landing place), that you may be capable and strong and powerful to bear up under it patiently.

1Corinthians (10:13) Amplified Bible

There are Christians today who are angry with God because they feel God is causing them to suffer in this area. But it is not God; it is you and your dependency on other men's ignorance and lack of understanding concerning this matter.

But the [Holy] Spirit distinctly and expressly declares that in latter times some will turn away from the faith, giving attention to deluding and seducing spirits and doctrines that demons teach, Thought the hypocrisy and pretensions of liars whose conscience are seared (cauterized), who forbid people to marry and [teach them] to abstain from [certain kinds of] foods which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and have [an increasingly clear] knowledge of the truth.

1 Timothy (4:1-3) Amplified Bible

According to Paul those who preach doctrines that do not allow believers to marry, their teaching is of the devil and not of God.

Paul goes on to say, For EVERTHING God has created is good, and nothing is to be thrown away or refused if it is received with thanksgiving. For it is hallowed and consecrated by the Word of God and by prayer.

  1 Timothy (4:4-5)

The Apostle Paul says, "EVERYTHING that God has created is good, and NOTHING is to be thrown away or refused if it is received with thanksgiving." In other words marriage is good and has been ordained by God. The Lord goes on to say that it is not good for man to be alone; this is why God sanctioned marriage.

Anytime man places unthinkable or unbearable burdens on a person their ministry is not of God but themselves. Jesus entire ministry is based on love, mercy and forgiveness.

Then Jesus said to the multitude and to His disciples, the scribes and Pharisees sit on Moses’ seat [of authority]. Practice all they tell you; but do not do what they do, for they preach, but do not practice. They tie up heavy loads, hard to bear, and place them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves will not lift a finger to help bear them.

Matthew (23:1-5) Amplified Bible

How many times a person has been married or divorced has nothing whatsoever to do with his or her salvation. I will repeat myself I said, how many times a person has been divorced or remarried has nothing whatsoever to do with their salvation. Choosing the wrong mate does not send anyone to hell. What sends a person to hell according to the bible is fornication and adultery; if one continues in this sin and has never repent.

Jesus himself respected and acknowledged the woman at the Well marriage. He never condemned her or told her that those men that she married were not her husband. Read your bible, He acknowledged those five men as her husbands but the one that she was living with was not her husband because they were not married. Neither did Jesus tell her to go back to her first husband. Why didn’t Jesus tell her to go back to her first husband? Because she is considered defiled because she had sex with other men.

Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the Lord: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the Lord thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.

Deuteronomy (24:4)

Many homes have been broken up because of lack of knowledge concerning this matter. Many Pastors have told their members who have remarried to divorce their second wives and go back to the first ones. Where is this written in the bible? This teaching is of the devil not of God.

Suppose he or she does not want you back then what? The first one did not want you back and, you divorced the second one. Now you have none. Now you are back to “It is not good for man to be alone.”

It is a very sad situation when Christians allow man to control their lives and cause them to sin before God. You have Pastors who tell their members they have to wait until their first wife or husband dies before they could move on with their lives and be happy with someone who loves them and wants to spend their life with them.

If you would read (Romans 7 chapter) carefully you will see that it was a law and custom for the Israelite women to stay married to their husbands as long as they lived unless they were given a bill of divorcement. But once they got those papers they were  free to remarry whomever they pleased, it is bible.

When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favor in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man’s wife.

Deuteronomy (24:1-2)

I have learned that most Christians have more loyalty towards their Spiritual Leader than they do with God. Christians would not sin in front of their Pastors but they are not afraid to sin in front of God. They have more fear for their Pastors than they do God. They have more respect for their Pastors then they do God. They do not care if God sees them committing fornication or adultery, some would go as far as shack up with their lovers but hide from their Pastors.

But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becomingeth saints; neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks. For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of God.

Ephesians (5:3-5)

You will never be able to move forward looking backwards Amen. In other words, if your spouse does not want you move on! Get a life! Find someone who does want you and cares about you. The bible tells us if possible follow peace with all men.

But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or sister is not under bondage In such cases: But God hath called us to peace.

1 Corinthians (7:15)

If you call yourself a Christian and have the desire for sex, you had better pray and ask God for a companion. You are a sinner if you are having sexual intercourse with someone who is not your legal spouse, and the bible says you will NOT make it into the kingdom of God!

Now the works of the flesh is are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envying, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like:  of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time pass, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

Galatians (5:19-21)

I would chose God’s word and wisdom over man’s misinterpretation of the bible any day. God knows my desires, weakness and my needs, and I will look towards the hills from which cometh my strength for my strength comes from the Lord!

We all makes mistakes everyone is entitled to make mistakes, the woman at the well made five mistakes does this make her a bad person and on her way to hell, of course not. This is why Jesus died on the cross for people like her, you and I.

In the church that I grew up in, it was a rule that we marry within our own congregation. The Pastor at that time misunderstood Paul when he said be not unequally yoke together with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14) Our Pastor at that time took this to mean that we should not marry outside of our own congregation. He did not have the understanding that unbelievers were. The unbelievers that Paul was talking about are those who do not Believe in Christ and have not accepted Him as the Son of God.

Today because of our Spiritual Leader’s misunderstanding and our dependency on man. Many of us who chose to marry inside our own congregation are no longer together this day. Why? Because God did not choose our mates, the church rule did. Should those of us who married within our congregation be punished because we made a mistake by listening to our Pastor who we thought was receiving his wisdom from God? Absolutely not! God does not go around holding grudges and holding our past mistakes against us. Once a person repents God does not remember that sin any more.

If a person feels in their heart that they have made a mistake by marrying a person, they do not have to stay in that marriage just to please man. If you chose to stay with your companion regardless of how ungodly he or she treats you that’s your business. You do not have to leave them just to please man.  The final decision should be yours.

For what knows thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? Or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

1 Corinthians (7: 16)

Many wives and husbands have converted their spouse by hanging in there with them through thick and thin, but every marriage differs.  Some women cannot hang in there because of their abusive situation. And there are men who have chosen to leave their homes because of their wives drug additions or promiscuous behavior.  Not all women are good wives, neither are all men good husbands.

Never the less, let me say this to those who claim to have unsaved spouses. What are you doing to lead them to Christ? How are you behaving in front of them?  Do they see you every day cursing your children out and slapping them around? Are you always cursing everyone out and calling them names? Does your unsaved spouse see you cheating on your taxes or late to work every day? Have your unsaved spouse caught you sleeping with the Pastor of the church or sleeping with the members. What is it that your unsaved spouses see in you that he or she doesn’t want what you have?

If you would like for your unsaved spouse to want what you have; you have to live a certain way before them. If your unsaved spouse does not want what you have; something is wrong with you. The problem is not your unsaved spouse, the problem is you, the unsaved believer. You can change your entire household if you carried yourself in a Christ like manner.

If you have done all in your power to save your marriage and it is not working and you chose to divorce your spouse that is your personal business, not the church’s business nor my business.  The just lives by their own faith. God has given all of us a certain amount of faith. Our faith differs according to who we are.

Many church goers today; have placed their Spiritual Leaders in God’s chair and have allowed these unperfected individuals to play God with their lives. And they wonder why they are miserable and unhappy. Only God and you know what is best for you.

I have learned that many Christians do not know how to think for themselves because they have allowed their Pastors to do all the thinking for them. Many Christian do not know how to seek the face of God and receive answers from God for themselves. They are always seeking a word from everyone but God. Idolaters are those who trust in man more than they do the living God that made them.

Nevertheless, you do not have to be stuck in a bad marriage, bad job, bad church or any unpleasant situation that makes you unhappy. God loves us and He wants us to live happy, peaceful, and productive lives. Never blame God for your unhappiness. God allows us to make choices and if we make a bad choice God does not hold that against us. If you chose to be miserable and unhappy let it be because you chose to, not because of man’s interpretation of the bible or because of what someone else feels is best for your life.

I have found that many Christians love to play the blame game. You should not blame someone else for your own unhappiness. If you chose to be married thank God. If you do not chose to be married thank God also, it is your choice. God does not go around hating you because you chose to divorce your wife or husband; God loves us unconditionally. God’s mercy and grace last forever.

My Mother and Father have been married 64 years faithfully and if they could they would remarry again. God placed them together and their faith in each other has kept their marriage alive. No man or woman can break up a union that God has place together. God has to be the one who put two people together not the church or the Pastors of a church.

Many of us do not give God time to chose our mates for us. We get in a hurry and chose our own mates.  And when the marriage does not work we play the blame game. Choosing the right mate takes prayer, time, and getting to know that person.

Pastors who does not allow his or her members to make their own decisions when it comes to marriage, divorce and remarriage needs to wake up and smell the roses. We live in a day of homosexuality, AIDs, and other sexual transmitted diseases.

What we need inside the churches are more Marriage and Divorce Counselors. Not misunderstood dogmas that have no merits towards the growth and development of God’s people. Wake up and smell the roses say our God! Marriage, divorce and remarrying after a divorce is permitted inside the churches.

My Brothers and Sisters, I will pray for you and I encourage you to pray for yourselves that God will give you wisdom and knowledge in this area. I pray that God will bless those of you who do not have a wife or husband and desire one, that God will give you the desires of your heart according to His will. But you must wait faithfully and patiently on the Lord. My prayer is while you are waiting for your spouse that God would bless your finances and prepare you for marriage. Be happy as you wait for your gift from God for it shall surely come. Amen

Whoso ever findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the Lord.

Proverbs (18:22)

House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is a gift from the Lord.

Proverbs (19:14)

Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth  safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him Good and not evil all the days of her life.

Proverbs (31:10-12)

Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life, which He has given to you under the sun: for this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun.

Ecclesiastes (9:9) New American standard bible

Top ten reasons for divorce

1.Communication problems

2.Financial problems

3. Infidelity

4.Sexual problems

5.Substance abuse or incarceration

6.Outside interference

7.Religious beliefs

8.Selfishness, not willing to reason

9. Abuse (physical, verbally, sexually, emotionally?